Let me tell you a little story about how I almost went on to glory.
I was in Thailand excited to do the floating market outside of Bangkok with my travel buddy. Somehow, I ended up at the front of the boat. Okay, no bigs, all good. We are floating along in the high traffic areas, boats bumping, making our way through the crowd. I am pretty sure that all of the Bangkok traffic made its way down to the floating market at that very moment, but I digress.
Our tour guide wanted to make sure that we got off the beaten path, away from the crowd, to see how the local actually live in that area, along the river by the floating market. This was neat, and I have to admit I was happy to have a second on the serene waters, away from the hustle and bustle. We cool, taking selfies and ish.
That is, until I almost went to meet my maker.
Not 10 feet in front of our boat is a kimodo dragon-esque looking, 6 foot long lizard that pops up out of the water. I was looking at the shore so I didn’t notice at first until the others started squealing. I look forward to see this lizard staring straight at me in front of the boat.
When. I. Say. I. Almost. Walked. On. Water. I am dead ass serious. I entirely lost it at that point. Every single thought was running through my brain. And you remember, I am in the front of the boat. I literally almost climbed out the boat and walked on water to the shore, channeling my inner Jesus. In the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Seventeen, another miracle almost happened, one that hasn’t happened since Biblical times. Because you cannot tell me that MY Lord would not have carried me to the shore on top of the water and I wouldn’t have been completely dry when I got there. I almost made a break for it and almost tipped the whole boat over at the same time. Thank goodness the dragon/lizard/alligator/ whatever swam quickly to shore because I surely almost went on to glory you guys. My heart skipped approximately 5 beats and I was still woozy when we were in the clear. My soul legitimately felt like it was hovering over me, saying, “Should I go, should I stay?”
Last time I plan to float on anyone’s daggone market.